Friday, January 16, 2009

Recounts and recollections

I'm afraid my life would be shorten due to nocturnal behaviour so oftenly nowadays, lol !
Anyway, I've done the JAE submission thingy at my aunt's place just now, and it's shit.
Why is the website so clever ?
They kinda rejected when I keyed in the RP courses at first, and said I wasn't eligible . . .
So I only keyed in the Higher Nitec courses that I was interested in, and I only used 3 out of 12 choices, hah.
Whatever it is, I'm going to appeal for RP when the results are released.
I feel so pathetic when I browse through the JAE booklet, I'm always like "Walao, if this one do better can already lor.", lol . . . See the importance . . . :\
It's too late to regret anyway, just move on with what I have and make the best out of it will do.

And so, after the submission online, my aunt and I had a really heart felt chat.
I had to hold back the tears when she told me about how much effort my family has put into me.
I was a child with very short attention span when I was around primary 1, I was a very distracted child and I was just different for the rest of the class, my behaviour wasn't normal :\. Then the teacher advised my aunt to let me see a specialist, a counselor . . . And the counselor said I was misbehaving in class because I wanted attention.
I was dumped to a maid ever since I was born, my mom and dad were all still young and ambitious . . . And after they divorced, the more hardly I see my dad and my mom flew off to Melbourne. My parents barely knew each other for a year and they got married at such a young age, my mom was only 19 and my dad was 21, they had a miscommunication I guess which caused the marriage breakdown . . . So after that, I lived with my grandparents all those while, and occasionally with my aunt.
And so, the counselor told my aunt that I needed more attention at home. And so my dad, he tried his best, he was still very young at that time, he wasn't even 30 years of age at that time, and it was hard for him to be a dominating father. But still, he tried to show more love and care.
I was currently mother-less at that time, dad was busy with work, and that's where my aunt came in and took over the motherly role. She was the one who enrolled me into kindergarten, primary school and even secondary school, and now, she will be the one helping me with the appeal for RP. She herself told me, she treat me like her own son. I know I find her quite irritating at times, but she does care. I'm very thankful.
I know it myself, my dad's a very busy person, but he'll try his best to find ways and means to please me. I know I didn't really have a happy childhood, but I'm very satisfied with all the things my dad, my aunt, everyone, has done for me all these while. It wasn't easy for them to get me this far. I can see for myself how bias my dad was against my brother when he showed me more attention than to him. My appreciation has just got to be more than words, just look at our results. Obviously my brother is the better child, he has a bright future, and most likely the guy to lead this family.
Not forgetting my step-mother, who also tried her best to be convincing. And well, I've known her for more than 10 years and I've accepted her as my mother a long time ago, she has been there feeding me and doing what a mother should do, and too much more . . .

Who know's what you'll be in the next life?
Good enough, you'll become the grandson of David Beckham, too sad if you'll be living in extreme poverty, or you wouldn't be a human anymore ?
I don't know, but just cherish with what you have in this life.
Your family, they'll only be there for a lifetime, be satisfied and thank them for all they've done, bringing you up, watching you grow since you were just a helpless infant until you're independent enough to take care of yourself.
Just remember that, without them, there will never be you.
Love them the way they love you . . .

I really do love you all (:
Even if I may not be sure what my future holds.
I promise every single one of you,
you'll get your pay back time.

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