Scream your heart out

Sorry for not updating, I'm just sick of emphasizing how sad I am --"
And maybe, all these emo shit is making me look weak, heh . . .

Anyway, about the post sometime ago about me changing into a better person . . .
I guess I've made quite a big progress, should be happy bout it (:
No more antichrist crap, I don't find it fun or cool anymore, lol . . .
And . . . I did not touch cigarettes for the past 6 days,
and of course the days are still counting.
Most importantly, I've started to think and consider before I shoot my words, heh.
Hopefully, I can maintain it and get used to it (:

And for some reason, I decided not to wear skinnies anymore.
I prefer straight cut jeans now, esp grey ones @_@
Lol, and for whatever reason I've started using LOL, LOL! XD

Last but not least . . .
I would like to thank each and everyone of you for cheering me up.
It helped, really :D

Empty spaces, fill me up with holes. Distant faces, with no place left to go . . .

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over


I will be dead for the moment . . .
Anyway, happy 1 year to butterfliesatthemailbox@blogspot, heh . . .

Without you, within me, I can't find no rest

KBOX-ed just now.
It's been extremely long since the 4 of us went out together, heh.
Felt kinda awkward at first, but it was rather fun shortly after that (:

Then . . .
I reached home with that crashing feeling of loneliness, as usual.
Sighs . . .

I'm awake, but my world is half asleep,
I'd pray for this heart to be unbroken,
but without you all I'm going to be is incomplete . . .

ps: No, I can't fake it, there's really no one else in my mind except for you.

Pushing me away, if you really don't care then say it to my face

It's a matter of time.
It's a matter of the determination.
It's a matter of the constancy.
It's a matter of the confidence.
It's a matter of the willpower.
It's a matter of the heart.
I will never give up . . . .

ps: I really won't . . .

Pushing me away, try to stop me now but it's already to late

Go ahead and laugh ~


I've got a job at Shoduko, some Japanese restaurant,
one of our last resorts to work under F&B . . .
It's so hard to find a good job at this period of time ZZZ . . .
Whatever, at least QZ's with me at Bugis's outlet, while CC and Gary's at City Link's and Ben's alone at Cineleisure's, haha!

Anyway, work start's next Tuesday . . .
And hopefully, I can keep my mind busy by then.

While I'm trying hard to stay mentally and emotionally strong,
each blow from the adversities gets heavier,
causing greater sorrows and pain . . .

ps: What you used to be, what we used to be . . . Is it ever coming back ?

Pushing me away, every last word, every single thing you say

I don't know how long can I hang on to these despairing days . . .
I lack the appetite, I do not have the mood for practically anything, I can't fall asleep for long.
Sometimes, I just feel like screaming my fucking lungs out.
It feels so stressful, I just feel like pulling my hair off my head then bang my head on the fucking wall and then cry like a fucking emo shit . . .
It's really painful and agonizing.

Why can't I ever get something that I genuinely want ?

ps: You don't even know, how it feels to be so low, everytime you smile, you laugh, you glow . . .

Drinks for free when you're with me, if you're down with me then you must believe, that's you're always on my mind

Boredom is killing me . . . .
I've been sitting here, staring at this for hours and hours ZZZ . . .
Not a single phone call today ZZZ . . .

I should just return to days, where it all just started.
For the very first time, when the expectations wasn't immense,
when I was satisfied with everything.
Then I wouldn't be so discontented.
But,
I am not the only one changing . . . .
ps: Strong willed, determined, persevering, unfaltering, unwavering, and tenacious.

Now I'm speechless, over the edge, I'm just breathless

Went to Marina, Suntec and . . . Ikea. . .
Hopefully, I'll get a phone call by this week,
and hopefully we'll all be working together, haha!

Gonna play soccer later (:
Bye!


Edited: More Grad night photos, haha !

So honoured, the prom queen ! =x

That's Ben and I starting our "performance" --"

EPIC .

ps: I caught a glimpse of heaven today (:

I'll force a laugh to break the silence

Hmmm, post Grad night. . . .
JOB HUNT !
Hopefully, high paying and relaxing, like who doesn't want that --"
CC and Ben came over to my place, flipped through newspapers, search the internet, kinda uninteresting . . .
So Ben and I headed to Vivo.
Filled in a few application forms, which would be most probably for nothing, hahaha!
So . . . . I'm going out again tomorrow, around Marina and Suntec.
Hopefully, I'll find an ideal job, heh . . .


Here's a few photos of Grad Night ! (:

Too bad, I'm not in this one, instead I was doing a lil' planning with CC's birthday surprise :\

Prom King & Queen !

ps: Is it going to get harder before it gets easy ? You're like you'll always be a little far for me to reach . . .

I wish I could take you all to where I must go

GRAD NIGHT 2008
It was insane, fun, although the food was like bloody hell crap but it was the convivial atmosphere mattered the most.
I've won a $10 Ben & Jerry's voucher, while QZ won an 8GB Ipod Nano!
HAHA! Lucky shit @_@ . . .
Ben and I also got into embarrassment, acting like some gay boy band assholes, walking around and lip syncing in people's faces, and those gay actions, hahahaha!
Whatever, its not our first time embarrassing ourselves anyway XD
And then . . . I took our lungs, and breaking a few items on our table before Yi Chun and Carmel were crowned Prom King and Queen ! (:
After that, was just dance, and photo taking sessions, haha!

And then when the clocked strucked 12, it was a very . . .
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY to
CHEE CHOONG ! :D
It was a lousy surprise anyway, he already knew it thanks to some lousy acting =X
Anyway, we played LAN till 6am! HAHA! XD
I can be fun . . . and fucking boring at times ZZZ . . .
Then we had breakfast at Funan's mac after that, and then headed home!

Hmmm, Grad night may be the last time for me seeing some people, I don't know . . . Organised more outings ? Hahaha!
Nevertheless, it was a memorable day, one I'll never forget . . . The place was just flooded with smiles and laughter, everyone was at their best outfit . . . (:
Everything just ended too fast :\ . . .
All I could do now is . . . Sigh . . .
Someday, maybe . . . Heh . . .
Anyway, I'll post the photos up once I get them ! :D

ps: Still not ____ng __ . . . Never will . . .

I just wanna play my music all night long

Manchester United 5
Ronaldo 4, 89
Carrick 45
Berbatov 49
Welback 84
Stoke City 0

Manchester United trashed Stoke City and go all the way up to 3rd placing, 8 points behind Liverpool and Chelsea!
Cristiano Ronaldo marked his 100th goal for United with a stunning free kick ! It's been long since he scored one . . . And at the death of the game he scored number 101, with yet another freekick, fantastic ~
Berbatov scored, Carrick scored, and the 17 year old substitude Danny Welback scored an an absolute screamer !
Stoke City were bloody violent, but at the end of the day it was the Red Devils that had the last laugh :D


Anyway, I went to play soccer at Telok Blangah yesterday with CC and a few of his friends,
I don't know why I got so tired so easily, but nevertheless I had fun, no peer pressure . . . HAHAHA! XD
For the 4th time in a row, CC stayed over at my place on the weekends, hahaha!
Watched his Arsenal got beaten into a pulp by Aston Villa, hahaha! =X
Then we played WE 11, all night ~
Oh yeah, I went to his house before that, for the first time, haha!
And there are not only cats there, there are lotsa cat structures all around, hahahaha! XD

GRAD DAY -> TOMORROW ! :D

ps: I hope things aren't so bad right now . . .

Down where the city meets the sea

Ruud van Nistelrooy vows to fight back
The Dutchman will miss the rest of the Spanish season after surgery on a partially torn cartilage, which could sideline him for at least nine months.

"This is one of the most difficult moments in my career," he said.

"It's pretty tough to be told that I will not return to play until the start of next season, that I will be sidelined for eight or nine months.

"But I have two options, give up or fight. I know I need to fight and my battle has just begun."

Van Nistelrooy continued: "I had no other option but to undergo surgery. The injury was a serious one. I've gone to the best knee surgeon.

"He told me that I will return to play and I will return to play.

"It's true that I’m 32. But eight years ago I went through a similar situation as this one and I know what I have to do.

"I want to return to top form and be the player I was before.

"I have lots of goals left to score for Madrid and many aims yet to achieve.

"I still have a Champions League yet to win and I will give everything to win it.

"The recovery will be very hard but no-one should doubt that I will overcome this."


Simply inspiring, for a player at this age, who doesn't give up.
You'll always have my everlasting support . . .
Trust me, van Nistelrooy will be my favourite player, my idol, my inspiration until the day I die (:

ps: Have you ever thought of what I told you? Don't you have anything to tell me ?

Beat but I'm not broken, guide me through with your hands

I've got all my stuffs for Grad night already, hahahaha!
Hope I don't look wierd, cause I don't think I look wierd . . . @_@

Anyway, Ruud van Nistelrooy is down and out for the rest of the season . . .
I got a feeling his time for hanging up his boots is near ):
I hope he'll be back soon , I know he will . . . .
In Ruud I'll always trust (:


Hmmmm,
almost everyone, has brought the blogs back from the dead.
All those happy exclamations . . . "Os are over !!"
I don't know, it just makes me smile reading em' , heh . . .
I just glad Os are finally over, I know I've said it before, but I don't care (:

I always thought that Os was something easy come, easy go . . .
But when it really arrives, I did things I never expected that I would do.
Burning the midnight oil, trying my very best to do the best . . .
I guess I've drank approximately 50 cups/cans of coffee altogether for the one month of hell =X
Just to stay awake, stay focus, it's unhealthy I know, but it's the only way.
I shouldn't be saying all these right now anyway, it's all over already. . .
I've cleared the mess on my desk, cleaned the coffee stains on it too, haha!
Anway . . .
3 more days to GRAD NIGHT !
Let's have the time of our lives my friends . . . :D
It may be our last chance . . . Sighs ~

Promise me you will be there,
until the red light will change,
I would wait forever.
Promise me you will stay here,
until the darkness will fade,
I'd wait for you . . .

And those who resisted were dragged out from their homes

Yet another string of captivating videos, ahahah (:
Awesome football compilations !


Euro 2008 - Skills and more skills


The Premier League - The Heart Of Football


Steven Gerrard


Fernando Torres


Ronaldinho with Barcelona


Cristiano Ronaldo - The Proof, Part I

Part II

Part III


I cannot wait for the arrival of Grad Night, hahaha!
I'm gonna get my mask tomorrow, hopefully (:
ps: I think I'm losing my____ ___r ___ . . .

Woah ohh ohh, never giving in, I just wanna be, wanna be loved ~

O LEVELS ARE OVER ! :D
Heh, I'm not going worry about my results, no point doing so . . .
I just wanna enjoy the hell out of myself (:
JUMP FOR JOY ! AHAHA!

Played soccer at Purmei just now,
It was rather enjoyable, especially the 11-10 win . . . Heh.
And. . . . I'm going off, to Queensway, soon . . .
To shop for my shoes for Grad night (:

Hmmm . . . .
It's a good thing to be yourself, but, if you've gone way overboard, it's no good . . .
Went you get to a point, when you don't give a damn about the feelings about others, it's just very . . . Atrocious? Detestable? Awful? Beastly? Inferior? Stinking? Crappy?
Haha . . .Change for the better? Change for others? Change for myself?
Be someone more . . . Admirable, acceptable, favourable, commendable, satisfying, gratifying?
I'll try . . . . . . .

Hardship times are so over baby ~
ps: I want ___ __ be pleased with __ . . .

Recounts and recollections

POA MCQ paper went rather well, hopefully I'll do well for my POA, overall. Hahaha . . .

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY
TAN YONG YANG :D
BOMB BOMB BOMB !
WUHAHAHA! XD


My, our plan went rather smooth (:
CC's the only one left, he's still 16, hahahahaha! Suckerrrr. . . . =X

LAST FUCKING PAPER TOMORROW !
:D :D :D :D :D :D
I'm going to screw the fucking school baby ~
Just kidding. . . Maybe a lil' bit ? HAHA!
ps: Hoping that you'll feel like getting out of the house XD

There're a thousand of you like me, and you'll be so so sorry

Arsenal defeated United at the Emirates Stadium ):

Real Madrid 4
Higuian 8, 37(pen.), 71, 78
Malaga 3
Eliseu 5
Baha 18
Apono 70
SENSATIONAL !


POA MCQ paper tomorrow, good luck ! (:
ps: I seriously ____ ___ . . . . :\

Sending an open invitation to all the pioneers driven by suspicion

Boooooo, stayed home yesterday, and today :\
Gonna stay home all day at home again tomorrow,
but CC's gonna come over to witness the showdown between our favourite teams ! (:

Adios!
Off to bed now . . . . ZZZ

ps: Inhale, addiction, y o u .

This is what I need, please

All I'm with left is MCQs papers (:
Hopefully I'll pass my chinese this time round . . . Heh.

Played at Heights yesterday, it's been long! HAHA!
Although it was raining . . . Who caressss?? XD


Anyway, not a good time for the english teams in the Champions League this week . . .
Chelsea suffered a 3-1 lost to Roma,
Liverpool drew 1-1 against Atletico Madrid,
Arsenal drew 0-0 against Fenerbahce,
and Man United drew 1-1 against Celtic . . . :\
And . . . . . Real Madrid lost 2-0 against Juventus! ):
Boooo! Felt so annoyed and irritated and depressed watching them play . . . . ZZZZZZZ . . .
Nevertheless, both Real and United will be able to qualify to the next round, haha.

Please sing me a song,
and I'll sing it back to you.
I could sing my own,
but what will it be without you . . .

ps: Am I ever _________ to you? :(

I'll hold you down, fold you in, deep in the fiction we live

Went for Mdm You's last minute chinese thingy,
it wasn't really effective though . . . zzz

Anyway, WY and CC came over to my place after that and played WE 11, haha!
Played like a bunch of crazy gays screaming . . . @_@

It's chinese tomorrow, and. . .
we're gonna kick some balls after that (:


JAW DROPPING, EYE GLIMMERING !
Superb goals 2008/2009
Part I (August)

Part II (September)

Part III (October)


The Premier League Goals of the month (October)



EPL October 2008/2009 MotD Goals Of The Month BBC - video powered by Metacafe

ps: The letter was 100% straight ____ _h_ _____ . . .

Steam rising and spiraling then vanish in the wind

Yay ! ! !
I feel so relieved, haha!
Social Studies is gonna kill me, the topics I studied did not appear in Section B :\
But whatever, I don't wanna think about it anymore! What's done cannot be undone already anyway . . . Heh . . .
I'm left with Chinese, and Science and POA MCQs, excited right ?! HAHA!
CTWTF! @_@

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cause every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cause every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time
ps: Are you willing __ __ ____ ? =X

Close up camera 1, the hero sings in this scene

Manchester United 4
Ronaldo 3, 44
Carrick 29
Vidic 57
Hull City 3
Cousin 23
Mendy 69
Geovanni 83(pen.)

Cristiano Ronaldo's surely back in roaring form as he scored yet another two goals!
Michael Carrick who just came back from injury announced himself by scoring a spectacular left foot strike, and the Vidic turns in his first goal of the season from a corner (:
Hull were determined, but not strong enough to turn the game around, muhahaha!


Chelsea 5
Alex 27
Anelka 30, 45, 51
Lampard 51
Sunderland 0

Anelka may might as well take over the role of the injury plagued Drogba as he scored a hat trick, making it 8 goals this season, top scorer for Chelsea, haha!


Stoke City 2
Fuller 11
Olofinjana 73
Arsenal 1
Clichy 90+4

The spectacular draw against Spurs in midweek was agonizingly followed by a defeat by the new boys, Stoke! HAHA!
Stoke's throw-ins are bloody dangerous, both goals were conceded by Arsenal were from long throws! XD
A couple of Gunners were left injured, especially Walcott, who was stretchered off the field towards the end of the game. . . Plus a van Persie send off, adds to the calamity that Arsenal's gonna face!


Tottenham Hotspur 2
Carragher 69(Own Goal)
Pavlyuchenko 90
Liverpool 1
Kuyt 3

All the spotlights on Harry Redknapp, he made Spurs win their first league game, a stunning draw at the Emirates Stadium and now, a win over the league leaders, Liverpool!
Pavlyuchenko proving his worth right at the death with a tap in, instinctively with composure ~


CC stayed over to my house again yesterday, haha!
Studied SS, and then watched soccer all night . . . Until we were bloody sleepy XD
Gonna continue with the Social Shit Studies again . . . ZZZ . . .
It's the last subject that I'm going to go hardcore on anyway,
after this it'll be so much more relaxing (:

ps: How much ______ do I __a__ now ?